A Piece of My Heart

Friday was my last day at Escamilla intermediate school.  When I first came down here I did not know what to expect.  All that I knew is that I was called down here, because I don't think things would have worked out as perfectly, smoothly and as fast as they did if it wasn't supposed to happen.  At first I was nervous and things started out a little rough.

On Friday though I felt like I was leaving my family and my kids.  The one place I felt as if I belonged down here, was here.  My teacher got me a zebra print bag, a necklace and awesome earrings!!  Ha she knows me all too well.  She made me a cute little pink cake with zebra and hot pink plates to eat the cake on : ). 

 The students that day wouldn't let me out of their sight.  They followed me around the classroom and when walking by my class they would sit there and beg to come to my class instead of going to there other classes.  I wish I could have let them stay with me...  They drew me pictures, wrote me letters and made me cards.  I even got a stuffed animal smurf from a couple girls in my class and a giant cupcake from this other boy.  I honestly have never felt so loved in my life before.  It hurt me to know I had to leave them.  

I can remember the very first day this little boy saying, "I don't like student teachers.  They make you love them and then they leave you."  That's all I could think about while the kids spewed their words of  "I'll miss you."  "Don't leave us."  "Please come back."  "I want to go with you."  "Take me with you."  "Don't leave us."  I couldn't even count the hugs I received that day.  I mean the kids always loved to give away hugs, but Friday I received multiples from the same students over and over again, every time they saw me.  They didn't want to go and neither did I.  Those kids are everything to me and they thought they needed me.

My Favorite Quotes of the Week:

1.) One of my students was complaining that he needed a new sheet of paper, because he messed up on both sides of his sheet of paper.  I told him no that he could erase it and fix one of the sides, but he would not stop asking.

"I can't do this.  I need a new sheet of paper.  Can I have a new sheet of paper miss."

Another student of mine sitting by him goes, "Man, I would have been done with that by now!" " Just erase one thing, then another things and draw some more."  Bahahahaha Love them!

2.)  "Miss what would you do if I farted."  

That is my fifth graders for you.

     3.)  I am saying goodbye for the very last time and this little girl goes, "Bye miss!  I hope you know how to do the shuffle better!"

4.) Lastly, the sweetest one yet.  "MacArthur people are lucky they get to be with Miss Wilson."

I only hope they will feel the same...

Someone once said home is where the heart is, well I must have a few homes because my heart lies in Zimmerman-MN, Fargo-ND, St. Cloud-MN, and now in Houston-TX.  

These kids stole a piece of my heart, a piece of it I will never get back.  I know they will come across my mind sooner or later and I will wonder how they are doing and who they will grow up to be.  

"The place where God calls you, is where your deepest gladness meets the worlds deep hunger."

-One.Life-

Dead Because of Art

Today I ended my sixth week at the intermediate school...  That means I only have two weeks left with all of these wonderful kids.  I can't say it's been easy because most of the time it's not, but what I can say is that it so worthwhile and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.  I've noticed a change in the students compared to the first few weeks I was with them.  The students that used to have more issues have improved immensely and things seem to run a little more smoothly.

I'm pretty sure it's going to break my heart to leave them when it comes time.  Today a lot of the kids were asking me when I leave, they know it's coming soon.

"Miss when are you done?"
"In two weeks."
"Then are you going to work here or go back home?"
"Well, first I go over to MacArthur and teach like I did here and then after that I will go wherever I find a job."
"You'll teach here at this school?!"
"Probably not since they don't need another art teacher."
"Will you stay in Houston?"
"I would love to, but only if I can get a job here."

"Miss don't leave us..."


I had to do everything I could to stop from getting teary eyed, they melt my heart every time.  I'm going to miss the daily hugs, their funny comments, their jokes, seeing them improve and succeed at something, and the little gifts of love I receive.

My favorite comments this week:

1.  "Miss how come moms are so small?"

2.  I was telling a student to look at his photo to help him draw his self portrait he goes, "But miss I'm color blind."
"Honey your photo is black and white.  Nice try."
You see a grin cross his face, "Oh."

3.  This kid in one of my classes is absolutely hysterical.  Everyone was working on their drawings and he goes, "Man I hate art."  He looks at me and gets this uh oh look on his face.
"Ah that heart my heart!"
"Well its just I can't do it so I don't like it."
"You're killing me!"  I grab my heart and act like I'm dying and start to fall on the floor. Ha he gives me this crazy look and laughs.  Ha who said you can't have fun at work?!

4.   My absolute favorite is this little drawing one of the boys in my class did.  He hates art and I had a little heart to heart with him to see if I could figure out why and what I could do to fix that.  After class I collected the classes self portrait sketches and this is what I found on his:

Art class is boring.  Dead cause of art.

Extinct with the dinos

Bahahahahaha!!  This made my day!  Ha at least he's got an imagination and as long as he's using it I'm totally fine with that.  I told him after class that I really liked his comic and thought it was really funny.  He turned away from me and the little boy nest to him goes, "He's laughing!" I don't think anyone has ever seen him laugh before : )

What's in a name?

So at church this Sunday we sang this song, He Knows My Name.  I know I have sang this song many times before growing up in the church, but for some reason this Sunday it meant something more.  Instead of singing line for line, just going through the motions like always before, I thought of what it meant.  


I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tommy_walker/he_knows_my_name.html ]
I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call


The part that stuck out the most was, "He knows my name."
And I thought of how personal a name is to someone.  


A name Identifies who you are.  You are given a name at birth and you travel through your entire life with that name until you die.  Your name appears on your ID, you use it on applications, write it on your papers so teachers know who did the work, it appears on plane tickets, passports, insurance cards, birth certificates, etc.  The list goes on and on.


I thought of how it felt for someone to know your name.  Coming down to Texas no one new my name at first.  And I am sure most of you know that great feeling of someone saying your name, after meeting that person just recently.  What?!  They know my name?  They remember me, they know who I am?!  It makes you feel as if you are someone, someone special, someone important, someone worth knowing.  


It's always nice when you walk into a store, a restaurant, a bank, a school etc.  and they know your name there.  Something about it is so intimate and personal.  You feel a sense of belonging, you feel at home.  It's crazy how something that seems so simple, like our name, can give us this connection and feeling.


I thought about my students and how excited they get when you know their names.  I remember my first week at the school I am teaching at,  I called this boy by his name and he was like, "You know my name miss?!"  He was shocked and excited that I knew his name, who he was.  Well then everyone else started asking me what their names were, ha big mistake after just being their a week, because I didn't know all of their names yet.  This then brings about the opposite feeling of someone not knowing your name.


When someone doesn't know your name, forgets it constantly, calls you by the wrong name, or even says it wrong it kind of leaves you with a feeling of unimportance.  You aren't important enough to have a name worth remembering.  Just like victims of the holocaust and other containment camps.  Their names were taken away from them and they were identified as a number.  A number out of millions of numbers, just another number...  Their identity taken away from them, that personal connection and feeling of importance wiped away.  


Think of how you feel when someone you admire, like or enjoy knows your name.  Then think of a time when no one knew your name, but maybe knew someone else's.


Well, God knows your name.  I thought about how powerful that statement was.  He knows my name, he knows me.  With the billions and trillions of people on this earth he knows my name. 

 I can't even remember every single one of my 250 students name all of the time, and out of the whole universe God makes it a point to know my name, he knows me just as well as he knows you.  


Then comes the statement, "He knows my every thought" and I thought of how even more powerful that would be.  Imagine if I knew my students every thoughts!  I would know how to meet their every need and I would know everything about them.  Just knowing a name is powerful, but knowing every thought too, now that is powerful.  


It then reminded me of the bible verse Luke 12:6-7


"What is the price of five sparrows-two copper coins?  Yet God does not forget a single one of them.  And the very HAIRS on your head are ALL NUMBERED.  So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows."


What?!  He knows me so well that he knows how many hairs are on my head.  But it's not just my head hairs that he knows, he knows how many are on your head, your neighbors head, your neighbors sisters head and every single person on this earth.  WOW!  That is amazing!  Think of how important you must be for someone to take the time to know the very hairs on your head?
  
Think about the importance of a name and next time someone remembers your name think of what kind of a feeling it gives you.  Remembering some ones name may seem simple, but its the most simplest important thing you could probably do.

Finally Friday!

After my horrible Thursday, Friday was smooth sailing!!  Kids were great, my observation was awesome, work went well and I ended the night with some karaoke and friends : )  I couldn't have asked for anything better.

My favorite parts of the week were:

1.  The dance off in our classroom after the students test.

2.  The rap this girl rapped on the spot for me.

3.  My good observation

4.  Being able to use my designing skills at work

5.  Reading that one of my students wants to be an art teacher : )

And... Of course the track shack Friday night : )

My favorite quotes of the week:

1.  I had to wear my glasses to school one day, because my contacts were not cooperating and this little boy in my class goes, "You have glasses miss?!"

"Yup."

"You look prettier with glasses."

2.  "How was the wedding Miss?"  "What you got married miss?!"  "Did you kiss them?!"  

Ha ha and that is a great example of how rumors spread.

3.  "How was the wedding Miss?"

"It was really good."

"What did you drink for dinner?"

"Water."

"For real what did you drink for dinner."

"Water."

"Nah ah.  Adults never drink water at weddings!"

4.  As I mentioned before, Tuesday and Wednesday were testing days after the kids were done with their tests all they could do was read.  One boy decides he is going to sleep and is sitting next to another boy who is notorious for being disruptive.  The sleepy boy makes a sign and hangs it on the side of his desk.  It reads, "Please do not disturb me."

5.  After testing we are all talking in the classroom waiting to go to lunch, and this boy asks me, "Miss do you have kids?"  This girl jumps in and says, "Boy, that is none of your business."  Ha ha I love these kids!

6.)  We were talking about animals and the same girl goes, "Eh, I would throw a cat, I hate cats!"

Terrible Thursday

So my week was going by mighty nice.  Monday the kids were good, Tuesday and Wednesday consisted of testing so those days were easy as well.  Well as you all know, the good days don't last forever, I was bound for some sort of disaster soon enough.  Actually I was surprised it lasted three days, minus the ants eating a friends brownies I had just made for their birthday, but anyway it was time for a day like Thursday...

I woke up Thursday morning with a sore throat, a stuffy nose and a pounding headache and lets just say it didn't get any better through out the day.  My first few classes started out alright considering we had a lot to get through in a 45 min period.  As most teachers know though it usually takes 5 min to get started  and 5 min to get wrapped up so your usually left with 35 min. when all is said and done.  We brainstormed ideas as a class on what things make up who we are, what our identity consists of.  Then we looked at a power point on Frida Kahlo, a Mexican woman artist, who painted many self portraits relating to her struggles in life.  We talked about who she was, what she did and looked at her portraits and tried to decipher what they  meant.  The kids loved this, but every class after those two in the morning would not stop talking out of turn, would talk when other people including myself was talking and we weren't even able to get to the video clip on Frida's life with the last few classes.

By the end of the day I was done... Done and done.... But this girl, yup this girl right here that was up since 6 am had a stuffy nose, sore throat that could barely talk anymore, had a pounding headache and an unpleasant day with the kids still had to head off to work at pier one for the rest of the night.

Well I left school around 4:10 and headed out to the Woodlands to pier one.  Usually I get there like 45 min early after grabbing some food to go, because I never know how bad traffic will be.  Well it started to rain and rain which caused the traffic to slow and stop... and stop... and stop.   Perfect.  Well I made it to Pier One around 5:35, an hour and 25 min later.

As hard as my day was going before, work seemed to make everything better : )  My manager stuck me in the back corner of the store and said here, make this area look good.  Yes!!!  My favorite thing to do!
I swear this stuff is like therapy to me.  I was having a great night at work, until...

I had to hang stuff up on the wall and left the ladder out with the hammer on top, in which my manager ended up finding on her head : /  Yup, my almost good night was ruined in a matter of seconds.  After almost killing my manager and finishing up closing duties I was finally able to head home, crawl into bed and sleep the night away.  Sometimes ending the day is the best part of the day.