By the time I am done writing this blog and someone has the chance to read it, it will be thanksgiving day. What do we all do on thanksgiving, besides stuff our face full of food, watch the Macy's day parade, football and catch up with family?, well think about the things we are thankful for. So, as you might have already guessed I will be writing about the things that I am grateful for this thanksgiving year. Instead of listing off a long list I am going to narrate it, because this year I have a new point of view on life and instead of just saying the first things that pop into my head, I actually have a meaning.
I was thinking the other day about where I was at in my life a year ago from that day. A year ago around this time I would have been thinking about coming down to Aldine to complete my student teaching, I would have been working two different jobs while completing 18 credits worth of classes, and of those classes most of them would have been 3 hrs long. I would have stayed up late into the night struggling to finish assignments for the next day and would have gotten up a few hours later to go to class and do it all again. I would have been living with my best friend and two other awesome roommates that I had just gotten to know. I would have been with my boyfriend of four years. I would have been thinking about finishing school, getting married and how we would spend the rest of our lives together no matter where we ended up. I would have been stressed to the max and worrying about every little thing, that I now know doesn't really matter at all. I would have been following the crowd instead of being my own person. I would have been trying to balance school, work, homework, sleep, a relationship and a social life. I would have not been able to say no and would have planned way to many things in my life to keep up with. I would have been afraid of any type of commitment and would never have gone out to do anything on my own. I would have been ridden with guilt and shame for the things I have done in my past. I would have been lost in the busyness of the world and never taking a chance to sit back and give my maker the undivided attention that he and I so much needed.
Well, this year all of that has changed completely. My life has done a complete 360 and for that I am so grateful. I believe God sent me down here for a reason. I didn't know at first if it was going to even work out over this summer, but at the very end it all came together and the situation I was thrown into was even better than I had been planning myself. Ha go figure God can do it better huh? While it might have started out as an exciting adventure it soon turned into a struggle. I had no one here to turn to I had no one here to show me love, I had no one here I could talk to, no one here I could cry with, no one here that knew me well enough to know exactly what to say, no one here to make my hard day better, and no one here that I could count on. Well as God knew it would, it drew me closer to him. This is exactly what I had needed. My life slowed down. Even though I was teaching all day and sometimes had to work at night at pier one, the speed of my life had slowed down anyway. I now have the time to read, think, write and explore. Something I didn't have a chance to do last year. I learned that God is all that I really need and that if I rely on him completely he will take care of my every need. My faith has grown deeper, my heart has become fuller, my mind has become clearer, my life has slowed down and my soul has become complete.
All of my guilt and shame from the past is gone and I now am not afraid of a commitment if I feel it's aligned with God's plan. I have learned to jump out on a limb and that I can do anything at this moment in time and I do not need to wait for it to fall into my lap or for someone to invite me or tell me to do it. I have learned to stand up for myself and what I believe in and have more courage than I have ever had before. Im not afraid of who I am anymore and I love being just plain old me. I now know that it is the relationships with people that are the most important thing in life and that helping out anyone every chance I get is where its really at. A year ago I would have been making more selfish decisions, now I have grown a little more selfless. I have thought about my clothing, the amount of it and the style of it and have come to the conclusion that I can get rid of quite a bit of it. I'm feeling a little more simple. I have way to many shoes and while I used to really love heels, plain tennis shoes or slip ons are completely fine with me. As for my earrings and accessories I collected and became obsessed with over the summer, it now all seems so pointless and waste full. If I was in a country working with kids who didn't have a pair of shoes or know when their next meal would be, would I really be worried about what shirt, or shoes or earrings I would be wearing. The answer I gave myself was no. So why the hell did I buy this stuff in the first place?! Well that answer I came up with was that it made me feel good or that I was just trying to keep up with the people around me. Pretty much embarrassing if you ask me. I don't even like to stand out in a crowd, that is definitely not me, yet I was working towards that. My solution is to sell everything I have that I don't really need this summer and put it towards helping those less fortunate than myself. This experience I have gone through in the last four months has been life changing and that is what I am truly grateful for this thanksgiving. I am thankful that things have turned out exactly how they have. I may have gone through a lot of heartbreak and struggle, but I would go through every hurt and pain I have ever gone through to get to where I am at today.
Besides this life changing experience I am truly grateful for my loving family. Even though they are far from perfect ; ) they have always supported me in everything thing that I aspire to do. They have given to me generously, comforted me through the tough times in my life, taught me to work hard, be independent, to give freely, be smart with my money, never be wasteful, always be helpful, do your best, never give up, always do things out of love, always forgive, and most importantly taught me about God. I may not have always shown it but I am truly thankful for them this year and every year of my life.
I am also thankful for my friends, old and new. The ones who have been there for me through it all. The ones who have laughed with me and cried with me. The ones who have freely given me their advice. The ones who have supported me every step of the way throughout my life. The ones who have given me courage to branch out and be the person I was meant to be. The ones who have hurt me and made me stronger. The ones who have given me great memories to remember for a lifetime. The ones who have helped me when I needed it. The ones who have seen through my BS and had the guts to say it. The ones who I could call five years from now and it would feel like we had never been apart. The ones who I have spent forever with and the ones I have spent a few days with. I am thankful for everything you have ever done for me. You may be thinking well I never did anything for you, but if you have come into my life and I have spent time with you I am telling you you have.
I could go on and on with a list of the things that I am grateful for in this world, but I think for the most part you probably get the point and could guess what else I am thankful for in this wonderful thing called life. Oh and I can't forget to say that I am thankful for all of you who read and support my blog!! Thank you for the feed back you have given me, I really appreciate it all. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a blessed day!
Love,
This small town girl
I was thinking the other day about where I was at in my life a year ago from that day. A year ago around this time I would have been thinking about coming down to Aldine to complete my student teaching, I would have been working two different jobs while completing 18 credits worth of classes, and of those classes most of them would have been 3 hrs long. I would have stayed up late into the night struggling to finish assignments for the next day and would have gotten up a few hours later to go to class and do it all again. I would have been living with my best friend and two other awesome roommates that I had just gotten to know. I would have been with my boyfriend of four years. I would have been thinking about finishing school, getting married and how we would spend the rest of our lives together no matter where we ended up. I would have been stressed to the max and worrying about every little thing, that I now know doesn't really matter at all. I would have been following the crowd instead of being my own person. I would have been trying to balance school, work, homework, sleep, a relationship and a social life. I would have not been able to say no and would have planned way to many things in my life to keep up with. I would have been afraid of any type of commitment and would never have gone out to do anything on my own. I would have been ridden with guilt and shame for the things I have done in my past. I would have been lost in the busyness of the world and never taking a chance to sit back and give my maker the undivided attention that he and I so much needed.
Well, this year all of that has changed completely. My life has done a complete 360 and for that I am so grateful. I believe God sent me down here for a reason. I didn't know at first if it was going to even work out over this summer, but at the very end it all came together and the situation I was thrown into was even better than I had been planning myself. Ha go figure God can do it better huh? While it might have started out as an exciting adventure it soon turned into a struggle. I had no one here to turn to I had no one here to show me love, I had no one here I could talk to, no one here I could cry with, no one here that knew me well enough to know exactly what to say, no one here to make my hard day better, and no one here that I could count on. Well as God knew it would, it drew me closer to him. This is exactly what I had needed. My life slowed down. Even though I was teaching all day and sometimes had to work at night at pier one, the speed of my life had slowed down anyway. I now have the time to read, think, write and explore. Something I didn't have a chance to do last year. I learned that God is all that I really need and that if I rely on him completely he will take care of my every need. My faith has grown deeper, my heart has become fuller, my mind has become clearer, my life has slowed down and my soul has become complete.
All of my guilt and shame from the past is gone and I now am not afraid of a commitment if I feel it's aligned with God's plan. I have learned to jump out on a limb and that I can do anything at this moment in time and I do not need to wait for it to fall into my lap or for someone to invite me or tell me to do it. I have learned to stand up for myself and what I believe in and have more courage than I have ever had before. Im not afraid of who I am anymore and I love being just plain old me. I now know that it is the relationships with people that are the most important thing in life and that helping out anyone every chance I get is where its really at. A year ago I would have been making more selfish decisions, now I have grown a little more selfless. I have thought about my clothing, the amount of it and the style of it and have come to the conclusion that I can get rid of quite a bit of it. I'm feeling a little more simple. I have way to many shoes and while I used to really love heels, plain tennis shoes or slip ons are completely fine with me. As for my earrings and accessories I collected and became obsessed with over the summer, it now all seems so pointless and waste full. If I was in a country working with kids who didn't have a pair of shoes or know when their next meal would be, would I really be worried about what shirt, or shoes or earrings I would be wearing. The answer I gave myself was no. So why the hell did I buy this stuff in the first place?! Well that answer I came up with was that it made me feel good or that I was just trying to keep up with the people around me. Pretty much embarrassing if you ask me. I don't even like to stand out in a crowd, that is definitely not me, yet I was working towards that. My solution is to sell everything I have that I don't really need this summer and put it towards helping those less fortunate than myself. This experience I have gone through in the last four months has been life changing and that is what I am truly grateful for this thanksgiving. I am thankful that things have turned out exactly how they have. I may have gone through a lot of heartbreak and struggle, but I would go through every hurt and pain I have ever gone through to get to where I am at today.
Besides this life changing experience I am truly grateful for my loving family. Even though they are far from perfect ; ) they have always supported me in everything thing that I aspire to do. They have given to me generously, comforted me through the tough times in my life, taught me to work hard, be independent, to give freely, be smart with my money, never be wasteful, always be helpful, do your best, never give up, always do things out of love, always forgive, and most importantly taught me about God. I may not have always shown it but I am truly thankful for them this year and every year of my life.
I am also thankful for my friends, old and new. The ones who have been there for me through it all. The ones who have laughed with me and cried with me. The ones who have freely given me their advice. The ones who have supported me every step of the way throughout my life. The ones who have given me courage to branch out and be the person I was meant to be. The ones who have hurt me and made me stronger. The ones who have given me great memories to remember for a lifetime. The ones who have helped me when I needed it. The ones who have seen through my BS and had the guts to say it. The ones who I could call five years from now and it would feel like we had never been apart. The ones who I have spent forever with and the ones I have spent a few days with. I am thankful for everything you have ever done for me. You may be thinking well I never did anything for you, but if you have come into my life and I have spent time with you I am telling you you have.
I could go on and on with a list of the things that I am grateful for in this world, but I think for the most part you probably get the point and could guess what else I am thankful for in this wonderful thing called life. Oh and I can't forget to say that I am thankful for all of you who read and support my blog!! Thank you for the feed back you have given me, I really appreciate it all. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a blessed day!
Love,
This small town girl
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