My Inspiration

There used to be a time in which people asked me who I looked up to.  I never looked up to anyone.  There was never anyone in this world I knew long enough, close enough and well enough to know what they had been through and how they had handled this life.  Therefore there was no one I ever looked up to.  It wasn't until this year that I realized I looked up to someone.  That someone being my younger brother.  He probably doesn't know it and neither does my family, but I very much do and figured I'd write about it.  My brother was not someone I looked up to growing up.  He was an angry child.  Someone I was probably very much afraid of actually.  He was angry most of the time, but he had a very big heart.  A heart for those who struggled in the world and didn't seem of importance to the everyday person.  It wasn't until this past year that I started to notice his value in life.  He was very much a stronger person than I.  I know he's never drank as much as me or made such awful decisions as me.  He has grown so much with God and has such a deep relationship with him and the people around him.  That is what I truly admire.  He has come to know God in such an intimate way and has used his talents as a way to help those who need it most in this world.  The thought of how blessed he is and how far he's come makes me want to cry.  At the age of 20 you'd expect a person to be finding out who they are and what they are going to be in this world.  My brother on the other hand already knows this.  He is a photographer.  He is an artist.  Someone who captures the perfect moment.  He is a writer and a speaker.  Someone who has the right thing to say at the right time.  He is a believer.  A man who follows God.  A man who knows what he believes and isn't afraid of it.  Me, I grew up an absolute mess.  I struggled to be good.  To be perfect and pure.  God knows I am far from it.  I've struggled day in and day out to live a pure and perfect life.  But all I can seem to do is make a perfect mess out of my self. My brother on the other hand is changing lives.  He's about to go to India and save prostitutes in temples, love orphans on the street and capture the moments the rest of the world needs to see.  He always has the right thing to say, when you need advice on what decision to make in life.  He trusts the big guy above with everything he has and is stronger than anyone I know.  I know nobody in this world is perfect, but my brother I swear could be close.  When I think of who I look up to in this world, I think of him.  I never put anyone on a pedestal, but if I could be like someone in this world though, I know it'd be my brother, I've seen his actions and know his heart.  They are real and true and kind and loving, just the way I'd like to be.  So, now If someone dares to ask, who do you look up to?  My answer would be, " My Brother."  Yes it would be, my very own youngest brother.